Quotes on Funny

It's funny: I've always had the analogy of a snow globe, that Hollywood is a snow globe. No, it's true. If you shake it up, you can look at it and really enjoy it. But don't ever go in. Don't ever buy into it and be like, 'I deserve all of this!' because it can go away at any time, so just have a lot of fun.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, 'Now, let's write a swimming pool.'

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."

Let me have men about me that are fat, Sleek-headed-men, and such as sleep o'nights; Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look; he thinks too much; such men are dangerous.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection

When I was coming out of depression, I made one random video. It wasn't funny or anything, but just the idea that people I didn't know were watching it made me feel less alone than I'd felt in a long time.

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.