Quotes on Funny

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

Every animal leaves traces of what it was; man alone leaves traces of what he created.

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.

For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.

Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.