Quotes on Funny

I hope I never get so old I get religious.

Sometimes I'm real cool, but sometimes I could be a real asshole. I think everyone is like that.

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

The lawyer's truth is not Truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency.

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

When I got my first TV set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships with other people.

Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.

I was trying to do one-liners and it took me years to realise I just had to be myself. My fear was if I was myself and no one found it funny, I'd have nowhere left to go.

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.

Life is a combination of magic and pasta.

How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.

The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.