Explore Quotes on Humor

The next evolutionary step is into the screen.

When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.

I got ham but I'm not a Hamster

I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.

My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.

I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.

I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.

I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'

Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs, but they're uncomfortable laughs.

We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. Its been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch TV. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.

Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon. Candide can do little more than generate irony.

Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish.

Laws and institutions, like clocks, must occasionally be cleaned, wound up, and set to true time.

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.