Explore Quotes on Humor

Successful crimes alone are justified.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy

In the most ordinary terms, egolessness is a flexible identity. It manifests as inquisitiveness , as adaptability, as humor, as playfulness. It is our capacity to relax with not knowing, not figuring everything out, with not being at all sure who we are, or who anyone else is, either.

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train.

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.

Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour.

The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

When famous people come up to you it's a bit weird, but it's an honour, really, when they recognise you and want to chat to you for a bit.

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!