Quotes on Humorists

You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

Every man is a moon; he has a side no one sees.

I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.