Quotes on Humorists

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

The best things in life aren't things.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.

When politicians start talking about large groups of their fellow Americans as 'enemies,' it's time for a quiet stir of alertness. Polarizing people is a good way to win an election, and also a good way to wreck a country.

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

I go in for what is known in the trade as 'light writing' and those who do that - humorists they are sometimes called - are looked down upon by the intelligentsia and sneered at.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me; and they keep multiplying; but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.