Quotes on Humorous

The judge is found guilty when a criminal is acquitted.

The church is like manure. Pile it up, and it stinks up the neighborhood. Spread it out, and it enriches the world.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.

He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable, had had a good deal of material left over which she had not liked to throw away but hardly seemed able to fit into the general scheme.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

Money is like manure; it's not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young things to grow.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.