The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the batter conn….

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't..

I can prove anything by statistics except the truth..

To be a colored man in America ... and enjoy it, you must be greatly daring, greatly stolid, greatly humorous and greatly sensitive. And at all times….

I dont have time to be depressed..

'Sugarland Express' was pretty amazing..

Straight ahead you can't go very far..

I am a romantic, I admit it..

We live in all we seek..

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything..

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.

We admire Chaucer for his sturdy English wit.... But though it is full of good sense and humanity, it is not transcendent poetry.For picturesque desc….

I've never been particularly maternal..

I will not be misquoted!.

It is poetry that changes everything..

An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten..

Presents, I often say, endear absents..

Everything since Homer has improved, except poetry..

I wasnt a good rule-breaker when I was younger..

They see me rollin’, they hatin’.

I didn't take a single business class. I learned on the job..