If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed.

Would you consider a man or a woman to be complicated? Is it that difficult to understand both the sexes? We say that we know what the other sex is a….

A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation..

Sex and religion are closer to each other than either might prefer..

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows..

A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are..

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting..

Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands..

The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars..

Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind..

If I am not worth the wooing, I surely am not worth the winning!.

Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument..

Under every stone lurks a politician..

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table..

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off..

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one..

A business must have a conscience as well as a counting house..

I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong..

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead..

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary..

Most people sitting at home aren't cool, successful, witty Hollywood stars, but they all worry about what people think of them when they faux pas..