Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain..

LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird wo….

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many tim….

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another..

QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to ….

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn..

Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish..

HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority..

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares o….

Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding..

FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex..

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent..

Finance is the art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager.

Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has e….

ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions..

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientis….

FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life..

Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom..

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The dr….

When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover..

HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is..