CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two ki….

HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions resi….

San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen.

repose, v.i. To cease from troubling..

While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide..

There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must..

EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends..

One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises..

Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things..

GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the ….

UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith..

JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion..

BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends..

MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not na….

Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man..

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay..

Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women..

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her ….

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead..

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband..

Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be co….