NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization..

Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul..

Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. T….

A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination..

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves..

Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend..

A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the "buffone", or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for ….

LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth..

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience..

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment..

An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor..

Glutton- A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia..

Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience..

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking..

REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Mini….

Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonl….

Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo..

MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders..

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable..

RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them..

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught..