Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens ou….

MONOSYLLABIC, adj. Composed of words of one syllable . . . Commonly Saxon - that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute of ideas and incapa….

EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated ….

OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors..

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond..

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp.".

IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary..

Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramsh….

LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows ….

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words..

NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life..

LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to….

Uncommon extension of the fear of death..

Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it..

ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke..

DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass th….

Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market..

A man is known by the company he organizes..

PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters..

DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to ….

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse..