If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner..

I've learned... That money doesn't buy class..

My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along..

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything..

It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work..

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch..

No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own..

I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? N….

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their liv….

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher..

You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not..

Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!.

I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day ….

Person-to-person, most people are honest..

I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done..

Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any ….

Walking is good for the soul..

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it..

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wis….

American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance..

We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for s….