Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love..

Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral..

One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile….

I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a pa….

I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by..

Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents..

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it..

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it..

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you….

Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the li….

The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances..

If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb..

Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time..

It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television..

Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?.

You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off..

In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book..

My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am..

I just sat there looking at television, sort of dumb and thought how horrible it was. I had -- the grand aspects of it did not occur to me -- I had n….

Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighbor….

I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular..