I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn't have to answer to innuendos..

Zip zop wop boopity bop..

The serve was invented so that the net could play..

Emotionally, a person can become so negatively driven that they don't respect the privilege of being on this Earth without their mother and their fat….

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry..

If you have a question about anything, the answer can be found in a book somewhere in the library..

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation ha….

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did..

Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us..

Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones who eat broccoli..

You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!.

My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We're going her….

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home..

A Hoyo de Monterrey double corona is my favourite Cuban since Desi Arnaz..

You'll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you'll never need a friend..

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things..

Education happens to be something that all people, all cultures, need to embrace. Math, science, the words of the world. To be able to speak and be a….

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger..

In Genesis, it is stated God walked on Earth. He was there on the level. After watching human behavior, he ascended having had enough of us and decid….

A white person listens to my act and he laughs and he thinks, 'Yeah, that's the way I see it too.' Okay. He's white. I'm Negro. And we both see thing….

I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, mid-life for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter-miler, whose son now says, "Dad, I just can't….