Never say [to younger people] "that was before your time," because the last full moon was before their time!.

The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I couldn't identify the formation..

I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards..

When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time f….

Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug..

Parenting needs to come to the forefront..

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery..

Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his childre….

George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with….

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague..

You can not make everybody happy..

You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful..

For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next..

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet..

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook..

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, ….

There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything gre….

I don't have a clue about the way to achievement, however the way to disappointment is attempting to please everyone..

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first..

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie t….

One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children-unless, of course, they are un….