Bill Hicks

Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?...No, it's not...That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve.

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it

The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.

While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.

When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'

What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.

You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.

What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!

People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'

People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha?

It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.

I've had seven balls of light come off a UFO...explain to me telepathically we are all one and there's no such thing as death.

I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.

I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.

God has this...hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.

I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.

That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club.

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.