I can't remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie..

I've been a very lucky actor..

I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it..

Humor's a weapon if you want to make it one..

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny..

Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell th….

All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world..

As an actor, you generally want to see the other actor's face..

I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regre….

Funny is funny is funny..

I love portraying the totally indifferent person..

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in ….

Doormen are kind of invisible, people don't know their names. They just say, Thank you, or Good morning. I'd never thought about doormen before. They….

Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?.

I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, h….

You may not think I'm a sex symbol, but I became a father at the age of 48. Now young people think of me as a mini-folk hero because it's difficult f….

Well, if you’re a native Chicagoan, you know how dumb he [Dr. Robert Hartley] is. He gets on the Ravenswood El, he goes past his stop on Sheridan Roa….

The giant superstars are people whose talent is so enormous that their death wish can't destroy it..

Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs..

I gave up accounting. I went in for about six months writing ad copy. I was fired from that, and then another guy and I did a kind of poor man's Bob ….

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there..