I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least..

I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant..

I feel more comfortable in comedy..

Don't be silly and don't waste your time..

Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is..

I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike..

I kind of do it in my head, then I'll try pieces of it on stage and if it looks promising, I'll put it together..

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do..

I don't want to find the secret. I'm afraid all the joy will go out of it if I find the secret..

You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock..

I didn't need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf..

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though youre poking fun at someone or something, theres still an affection fo….

I've done more than I thought I was ever going to do. I've had a very long and very satisfying career..

I never had an aversion because I was active in the drama club. If I had that aversion I certainly wouldn't put myself in the position of being on st….

Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy..

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much..

I don't have a stack of scripts....

One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you're the boss. It's your stage, and don't screw with me because I'll make you look bad, wh….

One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don't show fear..

I think there are still words you can't use in family entertainment that you can use in a sitcom today..

The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I'm not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascinatio….