Occupation: Comedian Birth: March 30, 1957
I've come to realize that making it your life's work to be different than your parents is not only hard to do, it's a dumb idea. Not everything we fo….
I remember my wife and I used to get on plane and see everybody else with their babies. They'd be putting strollers and car seats up above, and we'd ….
Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years..
She kind of reminds one of Helen. There's something very similar about Elizabeth Perkins..
And in that time, I lost my dad and had kids of my own. It was like, OK, I get it now. I know what fatherhood is all about. And you look at your pare….
The most rewarding part about being a dad is just looking at children who didn't exist at some point. The first time you saw them, they were the size….
When you're in @#*!#-ing hell, your forehead can feel a wee bit feverish. (By the way, that's the way my wife actually curses. She doesn't use dirty ….
I'd distract myself until finally it was a combination of things. The show was over and I had time on my hands. I had taken time and played and just ….
People come up to us and ask how we knew so much about their own family... I'm talking about people from faraway places, too. I get people from Turke….
I'm not smart enough to write about something that didn't actually happen to me. But I couldn't write a space movie if you put a gun to my head..
In the history of life, no good news has followed that sentence ["We have to talk."]..
Three has always been tougher than Two. Think of any of your famous threesomes. The Three Stooges? Look at the anger there. My bet is that before Cur….
By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, b….
The most challenging part of being a dad is trying to postpone the moment when they realize you don't know anything. I love any sentence that begins ….
It's not like some movies where you're following a bunch of different stories you can cut around. There was nowhere to cut to. It's these guys. We're….
Nothing would make me happier if Peter Falk would finally win his Oscar for this. Not just as the writer but as a fan and a friend. It would be so gr….
There's something that happens in that delivery room, when a woman becomes ten times more a woman, and a guy becomes six times less a man. You feel r….
Jerry Lewis played on the very first season of Mad About You, and he played basically himself, but he was called some other name. He said he's never ….
Why do you think people close their eyes when they kiss? Think about it. In the real world, if you saw someone an-inch-and-a-half away, coming at you….
They don't see that whole pattern. Worm/death. Worm/death. I would catch on..
You know what? The obvious is obvious for a reason..