Occupation: Comedian Birth: December 29, 1959
I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it..
I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn't you say?.
I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility..
When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome..
I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name..
I made mistakes and I broke the law and I'm more than willing to pay a price for that. But there's a price beyond that that my children have paid, an….
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family..
The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep..
When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise..
I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility..
I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - ….
I've always thought that if my death was imminent, I would read. When I can't focus on a book, I tend to keep reading the same page. My guess is, I w….