Occupation: Comedian Birth: January 29, 1880 Death: December 25, 1946
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life..
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull..
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to..
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually..