Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon elected.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

I never met a man that I didn't like.

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

I would never make a good economist. You know, an economist is a man that can tell you anything about — well, he will tell you what can happen under any given condition — and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's, too.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Personally, I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter...he's just got to know.