Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho MarxRead
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Interpretation
Alimony is pointless if the relationship is over, just like feeding a dead horse.
This quote by Groucho Marx humorously highlights the absurdity of paying alimony after a marriage has ended, comparing it to the futile act of buying hay for a horse that can no longer eat. It suggests that continuing to invest in something that is no longer alive or functional is both wasteful and nonsensical, which serves as a witty commentary on the nature of post-divorce financial obligations.
In practice
Sharing this quote during a humorous toast at a divorce party.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.
Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
You can't imagine how stupid the whole world has grown nowadays.
Fish and visitors stink in three days.
You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.
I wouldnβt mind going to jail if I had three cellmates who played bridge
Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.
There are certain sorts of jokes which have only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a familiar context. If you translated something into French and then had it translated back into English by somebody who didn't know the original, you'd lose what was funny.
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