Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho MarxRead
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Interpretation
Alimony is pointless if the relationship is over, just like feeding a dead horse.
This quote by Groucho Marx humorously highlights the absurdity of paying alimony after a marriage has ended, comparing it to the futile act of buying hay for a horse that can no longer eat. It suggests that continuing to invest in something that is no longer alive or functional is both wasteful and nonsensical, which serves as a witty commentary on the nature of post-divorce financial obligations.
In practice
Sharing this quote during a humorous toast at a divorce party.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.
Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
Laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly.
You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
I'm an actor who they said was wrinkled and balding and everything else when I was in my early 30's. Most of the people who wrote that who thought they were younger than me are now bald and wrinkled.
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny.
Aping urbanity, _x000D_ Oozing with vanity, _x000D_ Plump as a manatee, _x000D_ Faking humanity, _x000D_ Intellectual inanity, _x000D_ Journalistic calamity, _x000D_ Fox Noise insanity, _x000D_ You're a profanity, _x000D_ Hannity.
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