Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho MarxRead
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Interpretation
Alimony is pointless if the relationship is over, just like feeding a dead horse.
This quote by Groucho Marx humorously highlights the absurdity of paying alimony after a marriage has ended, comparing it to the futile act of buying hay for a horse that can no longer eat. It suggests that continuing to invest in something that is no longer alive or functional is both wasteful and nonsensical, which serves as a witty commentary on the nature of post-divorce financial obligations.
In practice
Sharing this quote during a humorous toast at a divorce party.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.
Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule.
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
It's not a good idea to take a forecast from someone wearing a tie. If possible, tease people who take themselves and their knowledge too seriously.
My failed corporate career became the fodder for the 'Dilbert' comic. Once it became clear I would not be climbing any higher on the corporate ladder, it freed me to mock managers without worrying that it would stall my career. Most failures create some sort of unplanned freedom. I took full advantage of mine.
A sold-out house my first night back. Do you have any idea what kinda pressure that is? I could have been at home in my warm bed, playing Nintendo.
We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.
Subscribe for the occasional hand-picked quote. No noise.