If we want a beloved community, we must stand for justice, have recognition for difference without attaching difference to privilege.
Interpretation
Building a loving community requires justice and recognizing differences without privileging them.
This quote by Bell Hooks emphasizes the importance of creating a compassionate and inclusive community grounded in justice. It calls for acknowledgment of the diverse identities within a community and advocates for equality by not allowing these differences to lead to privilege, thus fostering love and acceptance among all individuals.
In practice
This quote can be shared at community meetings to inspire collective action for justice.
Privilege is not in and of itself bad; what matters is what we do with privilege. I want to live in a world where all women have access to education, and all women can earn PhDβs, if they so desire. Privilege does not have to be negative, but we have to share our resources and take direction about how to use our privilege in ways that empower those who lack it.
Self-love is the foundation of our loving practice. Without it our other efforts to love fail. Giving ourselves love we provide our inner being with the opportunity to have the unconditional love we may have always longed to receive from someone else.
While privacy strengthens all our bonds, secrecy weakens and damages connection. Lerner points out that we do not usually "know the emotional costs of keeping a secret" until the truth is disclosed. Usually, secrecy involves lying. And lying is always the setting for potential betrayal and violation of trust.
When we only name the problem, when we state complaint without a constructive focus or resolution, we take hope away. In this way critique can become merely an expression of profound cynicism, which then works to sustain dominator culture.
Once you do away with the idea of people as fixed, static entities, then you see that people can change, and there is hope.
I still think it's important for people to have a sharp, ongoing critique of marriage in patriarchal society β because once you marry within a society that remains patriarchal, no matter how alternative you want to be within your unit, there is still a culture outside you that will impose many, many values on you whether you want them to or not.
There are few couples as unhappy as those who are too proud to admit their unhappiness.
It was strange how your brain could know what your heart refused to accept.
In many ways, a song-writing partnership is like a marriage. Apart from just liking each other, a lyricist and a composer should be able to spend long periods of time together - around the clock if need be - without getting on each other's nerves. Their goals, outlooks, and basic philosophies should be similar.
But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.
And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
There are few who would not rather be taken in adultery than in provocation.
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