Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
Brene BrownRead
To me, constructive criticism is when people take ownership of their ideas. That's why I don't listen to anything that's anonymous. But it's hard; when there's something hurtful out there, I still want to read it over and over and memorize it and explain my point of view to the person.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Constructive criticism requires accountability, while anonymous feedback often lacks value.
Brene Brown emphasizes the importance of ownership in feedback, suggesting that constructive criticism is only valuable when the person providing it is accountable for their ideas. She acknowledges the challenge of dealing with hurtful comments, indicating that a desire to understand and explain oneself can lead to a cycle of over-analyzing negative feedback.
Themes
CriticismFeedbackOwnershipUnderstandingHurt
In practice
Example use cases
During a team meeting, when discussing performance reviews, I would cite this quote to encourage open and accountable feedback.
More from Brene Brown
All quotes →I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted. It means engaging with the world from a place of vulnerability and worthiness.
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Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.
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I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.
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I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure.
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I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it.
Brene BrownRead
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