Of the widow's countless death-duties there is really just one that matters: on the first anniversary of her husband's death the widow should think I kept myself alive.
The danger of motherhood. you relive your early self, through the eyes of your mother.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Motherhood connects women to their past experiences, bringing them face-to-face with their own childhood through the lens of their own mother.
In this quote, Joyce Carol Oates highlights the profound impact motherhood has on a woman's identity and self-perception. When mothers raise their children, they often revisit their own formative years, reflecting on their past through the perspectives and experiences they share with their offspring. This duality can present both a beautiful connection and a challenging emotional cycle, as mothers navigate their former selves while shaping the lives of the next generation.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a speech about the challenges of parenting, one might refer to this quote to emphasize the complexities of understanding one's own mother while becoming a mother.
More from Joyce Carol Oates
All quotes βI never really knew I wanted to 'be' a writer, but I was always writing from a very young age. It became more conscious as an ideal when I was in my twenties.
I'm drawn to write about upstate New York in the way in which a dreamer might have recurring dreams. My childhood and girlhood were spent in upstate New York, in the country north of Buffalo and West of Rochester. So this part of New York state is very familiar to me and, with its economic difficulties, has become emblematic of much of American life.
My writing is often a way of 'bearing witness' for others who lack the education and the opportunity to tell their own stories, so I hope that my writing won't be affected too much by my personal life.
The worst cynicism: a belief in luck.
. . . there is a wish in the heart of mankind to be distracted and confused. Truth is but one attraction, and not always the most powerful.
Similar quotes
Most chick-singers say "If you hurt me, I'll die"... I say, if you hurt me, I'll kick your ass.
The more one loves a mistress, the more one is ready to hate her.
Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow - that's vulnerability.
Fathers and sons are much more considerate of one another than mothers and daughters.
We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
You really do learn every day with every dog; they are all so unique and different. But if you're patient and you understand where they're coming from, and if you are consistent, they will be fine. They teach you to give your full attention.