The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember.
Alice MillerRead
Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.
Interpretation
Genuine forgiveness involves recognizing and confronting feelings of anger instead of ignoring or suppressing them.
This quote by Alice Miller emphasizes the importance of acknowledging our emotions, particularly anger, as a crucial step in the process of forgiveness. It suggests that true forgiveness does not involve pretending that we are not hurt or angry, but rather means facing these feelings directly in order to heal and move on.
In practice
During a workshop on emotional healing, one might quote Alice Miller to illustrate the importance of confronting feelings.
The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember.
The truth about childhood, as many of us have had to endure it, is inconceivable, scandalous, painful. Not uncommonly, it is monstrous. Invariably, it is repressed. To be confronted with this truth all at once and to try to integrate it into our consciousness, however ardently we may wish it, is clearly impossible.
We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people.
I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively--because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.
It is not true that evil, destructiveness , and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to this production of evil.
If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.
People think that talking is a sign of thinking. It isn't, for the most part' on the contrary, it's a mechanical dodge of the body to relieve oneself of the strain of thinking, just as exercising the muscles helps the body to become temporarily unconscious of its weight, its pain, its weariness, and the foreknowledge of its doom.
I believe that we have been doing this not primarily to achieve riches or even honour, but rather because we were interested in the work, enjoyed doing it and felt very strongly that it was worthwhile.
Numb the dark and you numb the light.
We have nothing to lose by trusting the infinite power of the Self, except the bondage of our own ignorance.
Every failure, every adversity, every heartache may be a blessing in disguise providing it softens the animal portion of our nature.
By facing our challenges and overcoming them, we grow stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.
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