Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
Henry CloudRead
To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.
Interpretation
Letting go of defensiveness can lead to better performance and healthier relationships.
This quote emphasizes the importance of relinquishing a defensive attitude in order to achieve significant personal growth and enhance interactions with others. By recognizing that defensiveness hinders not only individual performance but also damages relationships, one can foster a more open and constructive environment that facilitates positive change and development.
In practice
During a team meeting, sharing this quote can encourage teammates to communicate openly without being defensive.
Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' Love respects 'no,' control does not.
When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children
One of the first signs that youβre beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can alert you to boundary violations in your life.
The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
In reality, childhood is deep and rich. It's vital, mysterious, and profound. I remember my OWN childhood vividly; I knew terrible things, but I knew I mustn't let the adults *know* I knew... it would scare them.
Listening is everything. Listening is the whole deal. That's what I think. And I mean that in terms of before you work, after you work, in between work, with your children, with your husband, with your friends, with your mother, with your father. It's everything. And it's where you learn everything.
One of the things that the court held in Brown v. Board of Education is that government can't impose a badge of inferiority on some of its citizens. Yet that is exactly what Proposition 8 does with respect to gay and lesbian couples in California.
We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'.
I wish men would stop telling me how they are not 'bad guys,' how they're 'an exception to the norm.'
Making the majors is not as hard as staying there, staying interested day after day. It's like being married. The hardest part is to stay married.
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