Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
Brene BrownRead
Ironically, parenting is a shame and judgment minefield precisely because most of us are wading through uncertainty and self-doubt when it comes to raising our children.
Interpretation
Parenting is fraught with challenges due to the uncertainty and self-doubt many parents experience.
Brene Brown highlights the complexities of parenting, revealing that it is often filled with feelings of shame and judgment. This is primarily because parents frequently navigate their responsibilities amidst uncertainty and self-doubt, making the journey of raising children daunting and fraught with emotional hurdles.
In practice
During a parenting workshop, I shared a quote by Brene Brown about the struggles of self-doubt in raising children.
Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted. It means engaging with the world from a place of vulnerability and worthiness.
Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.
I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.
I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure.
I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it.
Peace is one of the greatest gifts we can leave our children.
The strength of my mother is something I didn't pay attention to for so long. Here she was, this single mom, who was part of the Great Migration, who was part of a Jim Crow south, who said, 'I'm getting my kids out of here. I'm creating opportunities for these young people by any means necessary.'
I cannot however help repeating Piety, because I think it indispensible. Religion in a Family is at once its brightest Ornament & its best Security.
I'm drawn to kids that are already born. I think some people are meant to do certain things, and I believe I'm meant to find my children in the world somewhere and not necessarily have them genetically.
Once a month we have 'dessert for dinner' night. I'll make four separate desserts. They'll come home from school and eat as much cake and custard and ice cream as they can physically get in their guts. Because sometimes I think, let them just be children.
I profoundly believe that the power of food has a primal place in our homes that binds us to the best bits of life.
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