Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
Brene BrownRead
Ironically, parenting is a shame and judgment minefield precisely because most of us are wading through uncertainty and self-doubt when it comes to raising our children.
Interpretation
Parenting is fraught with challenges due to the uncertainty and self-doubt many parents experience.
Brene Brown highlights the complexities of parenting, revealing that it is often filled with feelings of shame and judgment. This is primarily because parents frequently navigate their responsibilities amidst uncertainty and self-doubt, making the journey of raising children daunting and fraught with emotional hurdles.
In practice
During a parenting workshop, I shared a quote by Brene Brown about the struggles of self-doubt in raising children.
Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted. It means engaging with the world from a place of vulnerability and worthiness.
Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.
I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.
I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure.
I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it.
Once a month we have 'dessert for dinner' night. I'll make four separate desserts. They'll come home from school and eat as much cake and custard and ice cream as they can physically get in their guts. Because sometimes I think, let them just be children.
His brothers were the type; he was the variation.
In family relationships, 'love' is really spelled 't-i-m-e,' time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home.
My children come first and the career comes in around that.
I still think it's essential for a parent to cook with their children. Weighing out the ingredients and learning where the food comes from is educational, but it also helps to place meal times at the heart of family life. We never had dinner in front of the TV.
My parents were very poor, but we never felt any sense of need or want. It was a very close, loving, tightly-knit family growing up, and I never felt any sense of deprivation or anything like that.
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