Of the widow's countless death-duties there is really just one that matters: on the first anniversary of her husband's death the widow should think I kept myself alive.
Loneliness is like starvation: you don't realize how hungry you are until you begin to eat.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Loneliness can go unnoticed until one finds meaningful connection, similar to recognizing hunger only when eating.
Joyce Carol Oates draws a poignant comparison between loneliness and starvation, emphasizing how people often underestimate the depth of their emotional needs. Just as one might not recognize physical hunger until consuming food, individuals may not realize their longing for connection and companionship until they actively seek it. This metaphor highlights the importance of relationships in fulfilling the emotional void that loneliness creates.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
During a speech on mental health awareness, one might use this quote to illustrate the importance of community.
More from Joyce Carol Oates
All quotes βI never really knew I wanted to 'be' a writer, but I was always writing from a very young age. It became more conscious as an ideal when I was in my twenties.
I'm drawn to write about upstate New York in the way in which a dreamer might have recurring dreams. My childhood and girlhood were spent in upstate New York, in the country north of Buffalo and West of Rochester. So this part of New York state is very familiar to me and, with its economic difficulties, has become emblematic of much of American life.
My writing is often a way of 'bearing witness' for others who lack the education and the opportunity to tell their own stories, so I hope that my writing won't be affected too much by my personal life.
The worst cynicism: a belief in luck.
. . . there is a wish in the heart of mankind to be distracted and confused. Truth is but one attraction, and not always the most powerful.
Similar quotes
It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.
In popular houses where visitors like to go again and again, there is always a happy combination of some attention on the part of the hostess and the perfect freedom of the guests to occupy their time as they choose.
Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'
I'm a failure as a woman. My men expect so much of me, because of the image they've made of me and that I've made of myself, as a sex symbol. Men expect so much, and I can't live up to it.
Studies show that if people think that they are treated fairly by the police, that matters almost more than what the result is. If you get stopped for a traffic stop and feel that you are treated courteously and fairly, you are much more likely to accept the fact that you got a speeding ticket.
Of course I am not worried about intimidating men. The type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man I have no interest in.