The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” an…

- George Carlin

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

- George Carlin

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.

- George Carlin

Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run…

- George Carlin

Everyone smiles in the same language.

- George Carlin

I've set my own rules to live by. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'

- George Carlin

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

- George Carlin

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

- George Carlin

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

- George Carlin