Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
Brene BrownRead
Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Perfectionism is often mistaken for self-improvement, but it primarily seeks external validation.
Brene Brown highlights the distinction between striving for personal excellence and the unhealthy pursuit of perfectionism. While many admire perfectionism as a motivation to be one's best, it often stems from a deeper need for approval and acceptance from others, ultimately leading to stress and dissatisfaction. Authentic self-improvement focuses on personal growth, whereas perfectionism focuses on meeting external standards.
Themes
PerfectionismSelf-ImprovementApprovalAcceptanceValidation
In practice
Example use cases
In a workshop on mental health, this quote can help participants understand the difference between healthy ambition and the harmful quest for perfection.
More from Brene Brown
All quotes βI think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted. It means engaging with the world from a place of vulnerability and worthiness.
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Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.
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I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.
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I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure.
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I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it.
Brene BrownRead
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