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Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance.
Brene Brown
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Perfectionism is often mistaken for self-improvement, but it primarily seeks external validation.

Brene Brown highlights the distinction between striving for personal excellence and the unhealthy pursuit of perfectionism. While many admire perfectionism as a motivation to be one's best, it often stems from a deeper need for approval and acceptance from others, ultimately leading to stress and dissatisfaction. Authentic self-improvement focuses on personal growth, whereas perfectionism focuses on meeting external standards.

Themes

PerfectionismSelf-ImprovementApprovalAcceptanceValidation

In practice

Example use cases

In a workshop on mental health, this quote can help participants understand the difference between healthy ambition and the harmful quest for perfection.

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Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
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I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted. It means engaging with the world from a place of vulnerability and worthiness.
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Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.
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I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.
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I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure.
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I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it.
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