It is in books, poems, paintings which often give us the confidence to take seriously feelings in ourselves that we might otherwise never have thought to acknowledge.
Alain De BottonRead
I passionately believe that's it's not just what you say that counts, it's also how you say it - that the success of your argument critically depends on your manner of presenting it.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The effectiveness of communication relies on both the content of the message and the delivery method.
This quote emphasizes that while the words we choose are important, the way we present those words—our tone, body language, and overall manner—plays a crucial role in how our message is received. The success of our arguments and interactions hinges not only on the information we convey but also on how we express it, highlighting the importance of effective communication skills in any discourse.
Themes
CommunicationMannerPresentationArgumentExpression
In practice
Example use cases
Using this quote in a public speaking workshop to highlight the importance of delivery.
More from Alain De Botton
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The more closely we analyze what we consider 'sexy,' the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
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Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own - but that we could never have described on our own.
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It is the most ambitious and driven among us who are the most sorely in need of having our reckless hopes dampened through immersive dousings in the darkness which religions have explored. This is a particular priority for secular Americans, perhaps the most anxious and disappointed people on earth, for their nation infuses them with the most extreme hopes about what they may be able to achieve in their working lives and relationships.
Alain De BottonRead
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In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
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