Whatever terrible things may have happened to you, only one thing allows them to damage your core self, and that is continued belief in them.
Martha BeckRead
Self-improvement books, friends, and polite strangers often tell soothing lies about our physical appearance that prevent many of us from facing, discussing, and solving our real problems.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights how comforting falsehoods about our appearance can hinder personal growth and problem-solving.
Martha Beck emphasizes that while self-improvement literature and well-meaning friends may provide comforting reassurances about our looks, this kind of encouragement often distracts us from addressing deeper issues that need our attention. Instead of confronting the real problems in our lives, we become complacent with surface-level affirmations that ultimately do not lead to meaningful change or self-realization.
Themes
Self-ImprovementAppearanceTruthPersonal GrowthProblems
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion on personal development at a book club.
More from Martha Beck
All quotes βInstead of fretting about getting everything done, why not simply accept that being alive means having things to do? Then drop into full engagement with whatever you're doing, and let the worry go.
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When fear makes your choices for you, no security measures on earth will keep the things you dread from finding you. But if you can avoid avoidance - if you can choose to embrace experiences out of passion, enthusiasm, and a readiness to feel whatever arises - then nothing, nothing in all this dangerous world, can keep you from being safe.
Martha BeckRead
To complete your daily mental hygiene, observe any part of you that is upset or anxious, and offer that part of yourself the following simple wishes: 'May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.' Repeat this until you actually mean it.
Martha BeckRead
Something in the human psyche confuses beauty with the right to be loved. The briefest glance at human folly reveals that good looks and worthiness operate independently. Yet countless socializing forces, from Aunt Clara to the latest perfume ad, reinforce beliefs like 'If I were pretty enough, I would be loved.'
Martha BeckRead
Since our society equates happiness with youth, we often assume that sorrow, quiet desperation, and hopelessness go hand in hand with getting older. They don't. Emotional pain or numbness are symptoms of living the wrong life, not a long life.
Martha BeckRead
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Too often, when you are close to people in power, you're trying to make them happy; you're trying to tell them what they want to hear. But I find that really good leaders don't want that. They want the truth. And you do them a service, and yourself a service, by just being honest and straightforward.
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And this is the forbidden truth, the unspeakable taboo - that evil is not always repellent but frequently attractive; that it has the power to make of us not simply victims, as nature and accident do, but active accomplices.
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When there is hallucination, there is the truth, by recognising it as hallucination. Where there is suffering, there is peace and bliss, by letting go and experiencing it for numberless suffering sentient beings. Always think of how others are kind and precious Treat them as you would like to be treated.
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