Whatever terrible things may have happened to you, only one thing allows them to damage your core self, and that is continued belief in them.
Martha BeckRead
Since our society equates happiness with youth, we often assume that sorrow, quiet desperation, and hopelessness go hand in hand with getting older. They don't. Emotional pain or numbness are symptoms of living the wrong life, not a long life.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Happiness is not inherently tied to youth; emotional struggles can arise at any age due to living an unfulfilling life.
Martha Beck emphasizes that society often associates youth with happiness and views aging as a pathway to sorrow and hopelessness. However, she argues that emotional pain and numbness are symptoms of not living authentically rather than an inevitable outcome of aging, suggesting that one can find joy and fulfillment regardless of age if they align their life with their true self.
Themes
HappinessAgingEmotional PainFulfillmentAuthenticity
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be shared during a panel discussion on aging and happiness.
More from Martha Beck
All quotes →Instead of fretting about getting everything done, why not simply accept that being alive means having things to do? Then drop into full engagement with whatever you're doing, and let the worry go.
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When fear makes your choices for you, no security measures on earth will keep the things you dread from finding you. But if you can avoid avoidance - if you can choose to embrace experiences out of passion, enthusiasm, and a readiness to feel whatever arises - then nothing, nothing in all this dangerous world, can keep you from being safe.
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To complete your daily mental hygiene, observe any part of you that is upset or anxious, and offer that part of yourself the following simple wishes: 'May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.' Repeat this until you actually mean it.
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Something in the human psyche confuses beauty with the right to be loved. The briefest glance at human folly reveals that good looks and worthiness operate independently. Yet countless socializing forces, from Aunt Clara to the latest perfume ad, reinforce beliefs like 'If I were pretty enough, I would be loved.'
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To live a life that is wrong for you is a form of dying. There are people who have lives that look perfect. They try to be happy, they believe they should be happy, they are trying to like it, but if it's off course from their north star, they aren't satisfied.
Martha BeckRead
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I've spent most of my life trying to think my way to happiness, and my failure to achieve that goal only proves, in my mind, that I am not a good enough thinker. It never occurred to me that the source of my unhappiness is not flawed thinking but thinking itself.
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No money is better spent than what is laid out for domestic satisfaction.
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