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Two worst things as can happen to a child is never to have his own way - or always to have it.
Frances Hodgson Burnett
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Interpretation

What this quote means

A child needs to find balance between autonomy and guidance to grow successfully.

This quote emphasizes the importance of moderation in parenting, suggesting that neither extreme of always granting a child their wishes nor completely denying them any autonomy is beneficial. It highlights the idea that children require the freedom to make choices as well as the necessary boundaries to learn important life lessons, fostering both independence and responsibility.

Themes

ParentingBalanceChildrenAutonomyGuidance

In practice

Example use cases

In a parenting workshop discussing how to raise resilient children, this quote could be shared to demonstrate the importance of balance.

More from Frances Hodgson Burnett

And the secret garden bloomed and bloomed and every morning revealed new miracles.
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It's so different to be a sparrow. But nobody asked this rat if he wanted to be a rat when he was made. Nobody said, 'Wouldn't you rather be a sparrow?
Frances Hodgson BurnettRead
As long as you have a garden you have a future and as long as you have a future you are alive.
Frances Hodgson BurnettRead
If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that--warm things, kind things, sweet things--help and comfort and laughter--and sometimes gay, kind laughter is the best help of all.
Frances Hodgson BurnettRead
Somehow, something always happens just before things get to the very worst. It is as if Magic did it. If I could only just remember that always. The worse thing never quite comes.
Frances Hodgson BurnettRead
At that moment a very good thing was happening to her. Four good things had happened to her, in fact, since she came to Misselthwaite Manor. She had felt as if she had understood a robin and that he had understood her; she had run in the wind until her blood had grown warm; she had been healthily hungry for the first time in her life; and she had found out what it was to be sorry for someone.
Frances Hodgson BurnettRead

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I think people should be given a test much like driver's tests as to whether they're capable of being parents! It's an art form. I talk a lot. And I think a lot. And I draw a lot. But never in a million years would I have been a parent. That's just work that's too hard.
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Another parent's different approach raises the possibility that you've made a mistake with your child. We simply can't tolerate that because we fear that any mistake, no matter how minor, could have devastating consequences. So we proclaim the superiority of our own choices. We've lost sight of the fact that people have preferences.
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Like many people of my generation, I feel like I survived my adolescent mischief only by a miracle, and it seems too much to hope for that the same miracle would befall my children - therefore, I want to make sure they take fewer chances than I did.
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Parents who discipline their child by discussing the consequences of their actions produce children who have better moral development , compared to children whose parents use authoritarian methods and punishment.
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The real questions for parents should be: "Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?" If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions. Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time. The mandate is not to be perfect and raise happy children. Perfection doesn't exist, and I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.
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