Quotes on Funny

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.

When I was going for my graduate degree, I decided I was going to make a feature film as my thesis. That's what I was famous for-that I had my thesis film be a feature film, which was 'You're a Big Boy Now.'

Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Every rascal is not a thief, but every thief is a rascal.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.

The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.

Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.

Looking up gives light, although at first it makes you dizzy.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.

There is an element of truth in every idea that lasts long enough to be called corny.

We worship not the Graces, nor the Parcae, but Fashion. She spins and weaves and cuts with full authority. The head monkey at Paris puts on a traveler's cap, and all the monkeys in America do the same.

If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.

The funny thing is, I sometimes get the impression that some people outside of the field think that there's some element of security that we have in working on a theory that hasn't made any predictions that can be proven false. In a sense, we're working on something unfalsifiable.

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.