Quotes on Funny

There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.

Existence is a series of footnotes to a vast, obscure, unfinished masterpiece.

I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.

There comes a moment in the day when you have written your pages in the morning, attended to your correspondence in the afternoon, and have nothing further to do. Then comes that hour when you are bored; that's the time for sex.

Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing.

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

There is good government when those who are near are made happy, and when those who are afar are attracted.

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.

He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.

The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence.

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

I think it's funny. There was a time when men were afraid that somebody would reveal some secret of theirs that was unknown to their fellows. Nowadays, they're afraid that somebody will name what everybody knows. Have you practical people ever thought that that's all it would take to blast your whole, big, complex structure, with all your laws and guns - just somebody naming the exact nature of what you're doing?

Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense

The history of those who shed those other tears, the history of those anonymous millions, is what Terkel wants readers and listeners to come away with. What's it like to be that goofy little soldier, scared stiff, with his bayonet aimed at Christ? What's it like to have been a woman in a defense-plant job during World War II? What's it like to be a kid at the front lines? It's all funny and tragic at the same time.

Whoever, in middle age, attempts to realize the wishes and hopes of his early youth, invariably deceives himself. Each ten years of a man's life has its own fortunes, its own hopes, its own desires.

My good intentions are completely lethal.

If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don't bother your head about it.