Quotes on Funny

Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky.

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.

One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.

Of course, there are a lot of ways you can treat the blues, but it will still be the blues.

You know the trouble with real life? There's no danger music.

Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness.

Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks--it says, Goodbye.

A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.

The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.

There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.

Love is something sent from Heaven to worry the Hell out of you.

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.