Quotes on Funny

Nothing more clearly shows how little God esteems his gift to men of wealth, money, position and other worldly goods, than the way he distributes these, and the sort of men who are most amply provided with them.

Whether women are better than men I cannot say - but I can say they are certainly no worse.

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

Scientists are peeping toms at the keyhole of eternity.

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother.

You shall know the truth, and it will make you odd.

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?

But the peasants - how do the peasants die?

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.