There are truths of which I have an inkling, but of most I have only a pencilling.

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river..

Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty. I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, "Is some….

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Farewell, dearest friend, never to see one another any more till at the right hand of Christ..

There's nothing like a great piece of theater - a great performance in a great piece of theater..

When you are in love- everything is romantic.

All I am is what I'm going after..

My dad used to say to me, 'You look more like me than I do.'.

I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving….

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over….

Everyone should have an evil secret plan..

First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging!.

It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the Internet has evolved into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest hopes and fears of those who ….

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant.'.

Show me the books he loves and I shall know the man far better than through mortal friends..

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer..

I would rather be loved by somebody who respected me..

I've always approached screenplays and so forth with, "How would it really happen?" Not "What's the movie version?" but "What's the real-life version….

There’s a period of time in your life when I kind of look back, and I’m like, was I happy, or was I just not aware?.