Quotes on Humor

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

There are two or three ways to combat homophobia - one is through humor. The second is to put a face on it.

What a newspaper needs in its news, in its headlines, and on its editorial page is terseness, humor, descriptive power, satire, originality, good literary style, clever condensation, and accuracy, accuracy, accuracy!

Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.

In the end, everything is a gag.

The idea that Bill Gates (one of the founders of Microsoft) has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second rate technology, led them into it in the first place...

I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will range from "Number 176 vial in Buffalo, New York," to "You were defrosted."

At the heart of quantum mechanics is a rule that sometimes governs politicians or CEOs-as long as no one is watching, anything goes.

Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others.

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.