Quotes on Humor

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Doing is better than not doing, and if you do something badly you'll learn to do it better.

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? _x000D_ You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your _x000D_ daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

Nature never said to me: Do not be poor; still less did she say: Be rich; her cry to me was always: Be independent.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

Comedy holds the greatest risk for an actor, and laughter is the reward.

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.

People are at their most mindful when they are at play. If we find ways of enjoying our work blurring the lines between work and play the gains will be greater.

But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

My sense of humor has saved me more than a couple of times in my life.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.