I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts..

Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it better than if I do..

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected..

I'm a plethora of stolen jokes and kitschy references..

I like there to be a joke in practically every photo I take. Nobody has the right to make photography boring..

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected..

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected..

When a drawing doesn't come out right it's because I haven't figured out where the joke is. Not that every drawing has a joke, but every drawing has ….

A lot of comics just joke around, but it's just as important to get the truth out there..

My favorite Aggie joke? I'm sorry I don't understand the question.

We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt..

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke..

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic..

As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se..

You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else..

Beware of jokes from which we go away hollow and ashamed..

All crises, once averted, become jokes..

For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies..

If sex isn't a joke, what is it?.

One of my secrets is to joke all the time..

You shouldn't make jokes if it makes you so unhappy..