Life is a joke that's just begun..

It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me….

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling..

If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again..

In Hollywood, it's hard to be funny, because all the big jokes are in Washington..

I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all..

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not..

A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been..

I love to write jokes and that's all I think about..

For the amount of talent I had (and I couldn't dance, act, or tell a joke) I enjoyed a tremendous career..

I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic..

Any private security is a joke in a country where youre up against your own government..

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes..

Call me Meier," Goring said, but he did not pause to explain the joke ..

Nothing's a joke with me. It just all comes out like one..

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it..

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically..

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke..

We didn't choose the joke because it's filthy! We chose it because of the structure!.

I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh..

A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it is supposed to snap..