Quotes on Sarcastic

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.

Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

Go anywhere in England where there are natural wholesome, contented and really nice English people; and what do you find? That the stables are the real centre of the household.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies.