Quotes on Witty

Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as witty in speech or as wealthy as we would like, but in a world of varied talents and fortunes that we can't always command, I think that makes even more attractive the qualities we can command--such qualities as thoughtfulness, patience, a kind word, and true delight in the accomplishment of another. These cost us nothing, and they can mean everything to the one who receives them.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.

Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

Judges ought to be more leaned than witty, more reverent than plausible, and more advised than confident. Above all things, integrity is their portion and proper virtue.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life - so that if it were over tomorrow, you'd be content with yourself.

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.

A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny.